Wednesday, November 25, 2020

Movie review - "Ice Pirates" (1984) **

 MGM's attempt to get some of that Star Wars moolah wasn't a hit but it could have been if it had just been played straight or tongue in cheek as opposed to comically. Or if the latter then at least funny.

It's got this gaggy and silly treatment and if it's a joke then why should we care? The stakes should be real.

The script feels like one of those scripts where they giggled while writing it which is great for them but doesn't come across. And some times the costume decisions break reality - like a maid wearing a maid outfit and evil soldiers dressed as basically knights.

And it's a pity because the basic story is very solid and there's some excellent casting - Robert Urich is fine as the leader of the pirates, Mary Crosby is a delight as the princess, Urich's gang includes a just-pre-Prizzi's Honour Anjelica Huston and a young Ron Pearlman.

Structurally it's fine - it's got everything you want: pirates, evil royalty, princesses, a quest to find a father, a gang, action. The time jumping at the end is quite clever.

It's just the treatment. Jokes like space herpies and Urich lifting up Crosby's blouse to have a perv while she's asleep... it wasn't needed. This film was made for kids. It's not made with conviction it's got this slightly contemptuous aura.

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