Book review - "Crackpot: The Obssessions of John Waters" by John Waters

Bright collection of essays from one of the greatest director raconteurs (up there with Kevin Smith). It was originally published in 1986 but this edition updates it with some more recent articles, including the making of Hairpsray and several speeches from the Independent Film Awards which tend to over-rely on the one joke structure - Waters advising people in ways to be shocking ("have affairs", "when you accept an award say you deserve it"). This got repetitive and made me realise a lot of Waters' shtick is based on this. But when he writes from the heart - about Buddy Deaners, or teaching in prison, or his love for stuntmiesters like William Castle and actors like Pia Zadora, or review Hail Mary by Godard - he can't be beaten, and he's always funny.

Movie review - "Fake Out" (1982) *1/2

The second of three films starring Pia Zadora that were financed by her then husband. As a vehicle for her talent it isn't bad - she gets to perform an opening number, is front and center for most of the action, is flanked by two experienced co stars (Telly Savalas, presumably doing it to pay off gambling debts like his character, and Desi Arnaz Jnr, who has an engaging presence), wears a series of different outfits, runs around in towels and takes lots of baths and teaches aerobics.

Pia is exploited a lot - director Matt Cimber shoots her in an almost lecherous way, with her often pouting and getting changed and being molested in prison by other women. You kind of feel like a dirty old man watching it. She's got that squeaky voice and limited acting range.

You kept thinking this should be better. The story was needlessly complicated. There was too much awkwardly staged action around the Riviera Hotel. It lacked a fourth major character - the part of her mob boss should've been bigger. The colorful local Vegas characters were irritating. (I did like the seeming blonde bimbo who would up machine gunning from a car)

Actually the more I think about it the more this film isn't very good. It should be a simple story about a lounge singer going to testify for the mob but is unsure about her character and full of "bits" that feel inserted. Why only get Pia to sing one song?

Movie review - "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" (1964) **

Unfairly bagged in some smart arse books as one of the worst films of all time, this is a colorful, daggy film which admittedly contains some bad child actors but delivers on the promise of its title, and has a solid story: some Martian kids are envious of Christmas so Martians kidnap Santa and two kids. Santa goes to Mars, where he becomes involved in a power struggle. There's a villain, allies, all that.

Some of the acting is terrible - notably the two little earth kids. Pia Zadora looks scared. The adults are hammy but in a right way. It's bright and loud and probably should have been done as a pantomine, but the worst film in the world? Not even close.

Movie review - "Hairpray" (1988) ***1/2

John Waters joyous valentine to Baltimore in the early 60s - hairspray, dancing, integration. I'm trying not to be smart in hindsight but it seems perfect fodder to turn into musical - an interesting setting, logical format for songs to start, serious subplot a la Rodgers and Hammerstein. I've only listened to the songs in the musical but it seems the musical is a bit more fun - more spectacular numbers, a larger climax - but this one is full of strengths: the sets, colour, period detail, casting (Ricki Lake was discovered and launched here - she was a big girl), songs on the soundtrack, wit.

The DVD has a commentary from Waters (funny - apparently there was no integration in real life) and Lake (a bit more irritating - why she recognises the film launched her whole career, she still whines about having to dye her hair blonde and have cockroaches in her hair, and mentions several times she was a virgin during making of the film and didn't lose it til she made Cry Baby - did we need to know this?). Possibly Pia Zadora's best film - she's a hoot.