Movie review - "Wrong Bet" (1990) ***

 Strong early Van Damme vehicle with the star in excellent sensitive-head-kicker form as the foreign legionnaire who avenges his brother's death - and gets the brother's widow and kid in the bargain.

I didn't realise the main subplot was a riff on Walter Hill's Hard Times and that's great. Works well. Harrison Page is the James Coburn part as the hustling mananger. 

Ticks the boxes well. Solid fights. Good character drama. Constrasting characters. Van Damme gets to be tough, sensitive, naked, adoring, loving, sexy. Well constructed vehicle.

Movie review - "Inferno" (1999) **

 Tail end of peak Van Damme - he was big enough to produce and hire John Avildsen to direct and do his own cut.

It starts off interestingly with Van Damme in the desert being beaten up, Jamie Pressley driving past, Van Damme having visions of Danny Trejo.

But as the film goes on it gets increasingly confusing - Trejo is a vision then he's real, Pat Morita seems as though he's doing something big but he's hardly in it, I struggled to follow what was going on.

Over time I leaned in to the madness of the movie. Van Damme having a threesome with two blondes he's rescued. The randomness of Trejo's and Morita's appearances. A script that rips off Yojimbo then has a character at the end suggest they watch Yojimbo. The town using UFOs at the end to explain everyone disappearing. Coyote metaphors.

Van Damme produced and the film feels like it was produced by someone on cocaine, though I might be doing the man a disservice.

Action sequences are fine by the way. 

Female lead Gabrille Fitzpatrick is an Aussie.

Book review - "The Last Action Heroes: The Triumphs, Flops, and Feuds of Hollywood’s Kings of Carnage" by Nick de Semlyen

 This was fine. Easy read. Very surface. Very kind on Chuck Norris who I gather is more terrible. Seagal is lively as he always is. I was hoping for more of a deep dive. These Hollywood stars are so addicted to log cabin personal narratives - I mean, Stallone went to finishing school, for crying out loud.

Movie review - "Predator" (1987) ****

I remember with this film you really felt Arnie was going to be different from any old action movie star - this was "elevated genre" despite John McTiernan not having much of a track record. It starts excellently, with its beautiful photography and rousing music and star entrance, a bunch of macho tough guys on a mission.

The cast is a hilarious combo - Arnie, Carl Weathers, Jesse Ventura, Bill Duke, Sonny Landham and whimpy old Black. Everyone looks like a body builder rather than a regular soldier - apart from Black But the machismo is hilarious (such as Arnie and Carl shaking hands) and most have actual characters to play: Black's is limited to making jokes about big vaginas, but Bill Duke gets to be in love with Ventura, Richard Chavez has mor rat cunning, Weathers gets to redeem himself, Landham goes crazy, . Oh there is a hot native girl who acts as an audience surrogate.

The film has a big benefit from the others in that this one they got to show the monster for the first time.

It switches into a higher plane for the last act when Arnie goes solo against the monster.

Peter Hyams Top Ten

1. Capricorn One (1978). His best film. Everything works. 

2. Outland (1981). Not everything works. But lots of fun.

3. 2010 (1984). Thankless task. But it's fun and it's remained vivd for me.

4. Running Scared (1986). Fun buddy cop film.

5. Narrow Margin (1990). No one saw this when it came out but it's fun.

6. Our Time (1974). Sweet. Female writer. Not perfect but interesting.

7. Goodnight My Love (1972). Overrated but still entertaining.

8. End of Days (1999). Silly. But it has the courage of its silliness.

9. Enemies Closer (2013). Terrific Jean Claude Van Damme performance.

10. The Presidio (1988). Cheerful slick 80s Hollywood stuff with Meg Ryan as Sean Connery's trashy daughter.

Movie review - "Enemies Closer" (2013) **1/2

 Not bad little action film which suffers from the casting of Tom Everett Scott as an ex-seal naval vet - Scott's a good actor he just gives off suburban dad vibes. But this is off set by Jean Claude Van Damme having wonderful fun with curly air and veganism as the villain.

Orlando Jones is solid as a guy with a vendetta against Scott, though both actors are forced to monologue too much. Plenty of cheese, a body count that feels unnecessarily high - Sudden Death had this too - nighttime photography, quick pace, some twists, the nighttime setting is good, decent ish action. But the real novelty is Van Damme.

Movie review - "Time Cop" (1994) **1/2

 I was hoping this would be better than it was but there are some decent moments. It's nicely shot, has a few twists and has a kind of logic. I got here and there. The action was a little underwhelming. Jean Claude Van Damme is relaxed and confident. Mia Sara is beautiful, not a great actor. Ron Silver can act very well. 

The film lacked something. I can't figure what it is. More holistic approach or something. I don't know. That's not very useful.

Movie review - "Minions: Rise of Gru" (2022) ***

 Big, loud, colorful. I enjoyed the 70s jokes - disco and what not. The plot involves a chase for a Thing. I zoned out in the last third - some were on their way to San Fransisco, others went somewhere else. It was enjoyable.  The vocal work from Jean Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren and Danny Trejo felt wasted, ditto Alan Arkin's Wild Knuckles character. Julie Andrews does a voice! Still, it was fine.

Movie review - "Missing in Action" (1984) **1/2

This seemed to be a breakthrough film for Cannon Pictures - but really it ended up as being a peak. It led to a long association with Chuck Norris which ultimately probably wasn't great for Norris' career - though who knows what would have happened had he worked more with outside people. Probably more of the same.

In the late 70s and early 80s part of Norris' success was he spoke to the culture - patriotism and white man action hero yes but also het addressed the trauma of Vietnam, in a way that say other action heroes weren't. This is a case in particular - it's got Chuck heading back to Nam to rescue some POWs.

As an action film this is okay. The structure is weird - the first third is shenanigans in Saigon with Chuck slipping out at night to beat up some people including James Hong. Then act two he's in Bangkok beating up more people. It's only the last third that involves retrieving POWs - and that's relatively easy, whoosing up the river in a boat, grabbing them and coming back.

So it's not one of the top rank Norris movies - not up with say Lone Wolf McQuade or Code of Silence - and its success I feel was more due to timing than anything.

Mind you it does have two all time great moments for 80s action films - Chuck leaping out of the water with a machine gun and taking out some Vietnamese, and some smug Vietnamese announcing there are no POWs left and Chuck bursts in the room carrying some... that's great exploitation.

Jean Claude Van Damme was a stunt man.

Movie review - "Universal Soldier: The Return" (1999) *

The basic idea of Universal Soldier is so good, it could sustain a bunch of sequels. I haven't seen the first two but they were straight to video - this apparently ignores their existence.

It's terrible. The basic idea isn't bad - Jean Claude is a recovering Universal Soldier with a kid (but no partner) working with a new bunch of Universal Soldiers, who mutiny. There's a reporter.

It's badly directed - like an average episode of a TV series (from the 90s not the awesome TV we have now). Scenes are poorly constructed; there's no suspense or excitement. The acting is bad, except Xander Berkeley.

There's a random visit to a strip club - a woman hits on the female reporter. There's no decent banter between Jean Claude and the journo. There's a hacker with blue hair. There's an opening action sequence which is revealed to be a training exercise. Awful dialogue. The villains have great abs and bad acting.

It's dull. And dumb. It feels cheap. Opportunities thrown away wholesale.

Movie review - "Nowhere to Run" (1993) **

Made during Jean Claude Van Damme's great period of stardom (okay maybe you shouldn't call it "great" but at his peak) - this one isn't as well remembered as others today. Partly, I think, because the concept is so generic and bland: he's an escaped con who winds up at the farm of a widowed mother of two (Rosanna Arquette) who is fighting off evil property developers (led by Joss Ackland). Property developers were getting tired in the 1980s on TV; in 90s action cinema they were comatose.

The relationship between Van Damme and Rosanna Arquette is quite strong; Arquette is a skilled actor, really helping lift those scenes. Everyone knows Van Damme's limitations, but he is sensitive and has a good look. Arquette does a surprising amount of nude scenes - a sex scene too where she's topless and Jean Claude has his hands on her boobs and he's nuzzling away. Was she forced to do this? Was she into it? I kind of felt sorry for her.

The relationship between Van Damme and the kids felt a little undercooked, though Kieran Culkin isn't bad as the boy. Ted Levine is a strong villain sidekick. Ackland is good too - it's just the nature of his villainy is so tired. The character of the cop in love with Arquette looks as though he's about to do something interesting but never does. There's a few decent action scenes - probably not enough.

It's an odd film. A bit of action, a bit of drama, some Western homage. They probably would've been better off making it more of a Van Damme film. 

Joe Eszterhas co wrote it. I'd love to know how the project developed and changed. It's not a dog. Just average.

Movie review - "Hard Target" (1993) **1/2

John Wood's first Hollywood film is a bit of a disappointment despite the ever reliable source material of The Most Dangerous Game. Jean Claude Van Damme has a particularly unflattering mullet in the lead role, a veteran who has fallen on hard times and helps Yancy Butler track down her dad. Dad's dead, which gives her quest a hollow feel.

There are recogniseable Woo tropes - slow motion, doves flying, two men facing off against each other with pistols - but his style doesn't seem to quite suit the material. I struggled to put my finger on why this film didn't work for me - maybe the development of the story was too silly, maybe it lacked a third act (the film is basically, figure out there's hunting going on, and being hunted), maybe Woo was hampered, or maybe he wasn't hampered but didn't do a good job.

There are positives - it's got a decent budget and plenty of action; Lance Henriksen is always reliable as the head villain; Arnold Vosloo offers some early 90s nostalgia as that old time villain standby, the nasty South African; Yancy Butler is an engaging female lead; Wilfrid Brimley annoyed me a lot less than I thought he would as a French accented crusty old timer; Kasi Lemmons impresses as a detective as does Willie Carpenter, touching as a homeless man.

Movie review - "Death Warrant" (1990) **

The first screenplay credit from David Goyer, who became such a major figure in the 2000s. It's an entirely respectable story, a combination of the Jean Claude Van Damme, prison and serial killer genres - he plays a Canadian policeman who goes undercover in a prison to find the person who killed his partner and uncovers an organ donor racket.

It's full of familiar tropes - a pretend wife (Cynthia Gibb) he falls for, a conspiracy involving his boss, dodgy guards, nerdy computer hacker - but those tropes are familiar because they work and they do here. More worrying is that the film is a little on the dull side. There's not much action and it's not that great. The film keeps teasing things without delivering - a hot conjugal visit between Van Damme and Gibb (hinted at but not really exploited, at least not in the version I saw), a riot, a massive brawl. The serial killer was super human in most of his scenes except at the end (was he supposed to be a ghost? An alien?)

The film falls in between stools - there's too much intelligence and sensibility to be a gloriously crap Van Damme action movie, but it's not good enough to be an actual solidly entertaining flick. Robert Guillaume adds strong support and I've always liked Cynthia Gibb and wish more time had been devoted to her relationship with Van Damme.

Movie review - "Bloodsport" (1989) **

The film that launched Jean Claude Van Damme as a star and he's the best thing about it - in addition to the standard fighting hero stuff (quick with fists, good build), he has fresh faced, innocent good looks, and a naive quality that is appealing, even if his acting is limited; the accent is part of the charm.

This has an odd sort of plot: he plays an army guy who goes AWOL in order to compete in a mysterious underground fight tournament in Hong Kong. A pretty journalist wants to know about this tournament, so sleeps with Jean Claude; two special agents (one of them Forest Whittaker!) want to track him down and bring him back to the army for no really good reason; Jean Claude is doing it for the honour of his teacher... who is still alive (is it that important?). He fights the main baddy to get revenge for crippling his friend (Orgre from Revenge of the Nerds) - but he only just met Ogre and Ogre kind of deserved it anyway because he gloated when the fight was still going on. And it's based on a true story.

Location filming in Hong Kong helps, and there are some decent fight scenes. It's got late 80s charm too, such as the Cannon Group logo, rock soundtrack, wisecracking Chinese sidekick, the hair of the girl; there's also a flashback to Jean Claude as a kid, meeting his sensei - the young actor has a weird accent and everything.

Movie review - "Maximum Risk" (1996) *** (warning: spoilers)

One of the most distinguishing things about Jean Claude Van Damme's career is he brought over so many Hong Kong directors to Hollywood. Hard Target introduced us to John Woo and this was the Hollywood debut of Ringo Lam, famous for City on Fire. Good move too for Lam is clearly trying hard to make this fresh and different - there is plenty of energy, the quality of support acting is strong, the action sequences are consistently interesting (a chase through a Russian steam bath, crashing on to taxis, fights in rickety old elevators). Van Damme gives one of his best performances.

The story isn't bad either and gets off to a great start, with Van Damme being pursued... then killed... then revealed to have a long lost identical twin a la Double Impact who is the actual hero. He takes his brother's place, which involves going to New York, meeting a comic relief cab driver (whose death is a big shock and good writing) and his brother's girlfriend (the gorgeous and ever-likeable Natasha Hestridge, who flashes a bit of boob and proves to be probably Van Damme's strongest female co star ever), and has Russian mafia.

However after 40 minutes or so I began to feel the filmmakers made a mistake killing off the brother - there was something a little hollow about him avenging the death of someone he never met and would never meet; the brother surviving and entering the action would have made a great third act. It would have enhanced the emotion of the film.

Movie review - "Sudden Death" (1995) * (warning: spoilers)

This and Streetfighter marked a turning point in the career of Jean-Claude Van Damme - his movies were getting steadily better, Universal Soldier and Time Cop were earning him more and more fans, then he started to flounder with some movies that were crap. This must have sounded like a no brainer - Die Hard set in an ice hockey rink, reuniting Van Damme with Time Cop director Peter Hyams, throwing in Powers Boothe as a villain and giving a decent budget. But the filmmakers totally stuff it, ending up with a ridiculous movie.

Why is it so bad? It's lazy - there's no logic. It's unpleasant. The villains are not smart, they are dumb - they kill people constantly: random workers, security guards, members of the general public, hostages; I think the intention was to go "oh yeah, they're going there, they're doing it, killing little old ladies" but the death toll is so high you become completely desensitized to people dying. There's no mystery to their plan - they take over, saying it's all for money, and that's it, there's no real twist except the head of security being in on the plan.

There's no reality - explosions are going off outside the game, there is a siege situation, and yet the audience of the game are completely unaware of what's going on outside (no one ducks outside? no one leaves? no one tries to contact a family member? even with the media there?). A villain runs around in a large penguin suit for extended periods of time, during which time she kidnaps Van Damme's daughter and fights to the death with Van Damme (was Peter Hyams taking this piss?). The main hostage is the vice president which means people are constantly saying "we need to rescue the vice president" which sounds ridiculous. Powers Boothe drinks scotch, smokes and relaxes during the hostage situation. Another villain plays a video game!

Also Jean Claude's two kids are there and his little girl especially witnesses a lot of violence, which is upsetting, even if it is comic book - she screams, almost plunges to her death, sees several people get shot. And his little son is an annoying brat.

It's as though the filmmakers thought up all these "great bits" that they "just had to have" and tried to construct a movie around it. So there's Jean Claude pretending to be a hockey player, and using the lights outside the stadium to pass on a message, and using sign language to communicate with his son. And it's just dumb and stupid and annoying.

Movie review - "Double Impact" (1991) ***

The quality of Jean Claude Van Damme's films continued to rise in the early 90s... this is one of his strongest, helped in part by the central idea taken from The Corsican Brothers: identical twins are separated at birth when triads assassinate his parents (an excellent opening sequence); one grows up a flashy pink short-wearing yoga/karate instructor in LA, the other is a tough smuggler with a code of honor in Hong Kong. Eventually they meet up and track down the people responsible for their parent's death.

That's a solid basis for an action film and Jean Claude succeeds (helped by some skillful cutting and effects) in making the two different characters. You can't help wishing they'd used the central idea more - made the two really different (eg the flashy one could have known nothing about fighting but learned along the way), had a strong love triangle instead of a fake one (the tough one gets jealous of the flashy one and the tough ones girl but it's only paranoia... why not have them both genuinely fall for the one girl?), used the "opposites" of the lead for more comedy.

It was also disappointing that Geoffrey Lewis' character never became that integral (I kept expecting him to die, or one of them to be angry at him, or something), the female lead was so under-developed, couldn't there have been one positive Asian character, and the running time went on too long. I felt say an Arnie movie would have fixed these problems, which is why he became a bigger star.

Still, be grateful for what you've got: pleasing location work in Hong Kong, some imaginative action sequences (eg a fight in a blue lit room with a baddie using a dagger in his boot), Bolo Yeung as a baddie, Cory Everson as a female assassin, Jean Claude in fine form.

Movie review - "Kickboxer" (1989) **

Jean Claude Van Damme is now something of a gag celebrity but for a number of years he was a genuine action star - never quite in the league of Arnie or Sly but a true draw at the box office. This was in part because in his heyday (roughly 89-95) you knew his movies always tried to be better than the typical action flick - they would have better production values and directors.

This one was  shot on location in Thailand so it always looks good (or at least different) with plenty of lush greens and markets and packed fighting arenas (plus the inevitable stable of 80s action... the visit to the tittie bar). The plot isn't exactly, um, original but serves its purpose - Van Damme's "brother" Dennis Alexio is paralysed in a kickboxing fight so Jean Claude goes looking for revenge. There's a Mr Miyagi trainer, a beautiful girl, a Vietnam Vet who helps them and some baddies.

The kickboxing gives it novelty and Jean Claude does have appeal - boyish good looks, solid fighting ability, a cute accent. The movie does spill into camp too often, Haskell Anderson (the Vietnam Vet) isn't the world's best actor, the writers never met a stereotype they didn't like, and there is some bad 80s guitar. But I enjoyed it.

Movie review - "Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films" (2014) ****1/2

Joyous documentary from the man who made Not Quite Hollywood - and actually much better than that film, because it is more focused (centering on two principals), has a stronger narrative drive (being a rise and fall) and more critical. There are some excellent interviewees - not just the usual actors, actresses and directors, but also writers, editors and music supervisors... which means the comments are more varied, interesting and (to be blunt) smarter (editors especially always seem to have super insightful things to say about films and studios, but they get overlooked in favour of the more glamorous directors and stars).

Like all Mark Hartley movies it looks great and bangs along at a fair clip. His sense of story is improving too - he's not as distracted by anecdotes as in Not Quite Hollywood - helped by the fact Golan and Globas are such engaging protagonists, even if they didn't appear in the film: hucksters who adored movies and making deals, with a great flair for getting money out of banks and distributors but with nil taste.

Their passion and skills saw them explode in Hollywood in the early 80s, helped by the VHS revolution which saw a market for their movies and their general lack of shame. I don't think Cannon pioneered pre-selling off the poster - wasn't AIP doing that in the 50s? - but they perfected it to an artform.

In a weird way, Cannon's taste was ahead of the curve of some issues - they made films out of toys (eg Masters of the Universe) and were big on super heroes and comic book franchises (eg King Solomon's Mines, Superman IV, they had the rights to Spiderman and Captain America) but could never crack a big hit because the films were made ineptly. They made a mistake reaching for the big leagues and overreaching themselves in terms of budget and stars (eg Over the Top), like many a feisty independent, and went bust. Golan and Globas broke up, competed with lambada films, then retreated to Israel. (Both are still wheeling and dealing but are no longer the international players they were; neither wanted to participate in this film)

What to make of Cannon's legacy? A lot of violence, sex, and misogyny, and awful lot of crud. But they were no orphans on that score during that decade: Frank Yablans is bitter about the junk they foisted on MGM in the 80s, but Metro was hardly kicking goals around this time; Bo Derek's recollections on how they ruined Bolero is laughable (in an enjoyable way).

And the fact is Cannon did make a bunch of good films - 52 Pick Up, Barfly, Otello, Runaway Train - as well as some first rate exploitation flicks - Breakin', Missing in Action, Delta Force - plus others which were engagingly bad - Lifeforce, King Solomon's Mines, The Wicked Lady. They made a stars of Chuck Norris, Michael Dudikoff and Jean Claude Van Damme, gave regular employment to Charles Bronson, perhaps unwisely extended the career of Michael Winner, financed works by Cassevetes and Goddard.

What they seemed to lack was an ability to make solid, mainstream, commercial movies - they knew there was a market for a new Superman movie, or a film based on a popular toy line, but couldn't satisfy it due to their lack of talent. Roger Corman managed to keep going all this time by keeping his costs super low and not getting into areas he couldn't control.

It makes for highly entertaining viewing and a fun film. Not sure if the Australian tax payer should have funded it, but it is better than most recent Aussie films.

Movie review - "Streetfighter" (1994) *1/2

Believe it or not there were some high-ish expectations when this came out: director Steve de Souza had written Die Hard, Jean Claude Van Damme looked like really crossing over into the big leagues after Universal Soldier, Raul Julia was the villain... yes it was based on a video game but that wasn't considered a kiss of death then.

Well, the result was a garbage film which lacked excitement and logic. Most strikingly it's confusing when and where this is set, and who are the goodies and why they are good. There's also a real lack of streetfighting. However some of the Thailand locations are pleasing and there's camp value seeing Kylie Minogue in it.