Saturday, January 14, 2017

Movie review - "Universal Soldier: The Return" (1999) *

The basic idea of Universal Soldier is so good, it could sustain a bunch of sequels. I haven't seen the first two but they were straight to video - this apparently ignores their existence.

It's terrible. The basic idea isn't bad - Jean Claude is a recovering Universal Soldier with a kid (but no partner) working with a new bunch of Universal Soldiers, who mutiny. There's a reporter.

It's badly directed - like an average episode of a TV series (from the 90s not the awesome TV we have now). Scenes are poorly constructed; there's no suspense or excitement. The acting is bad, except Xander Berkeley.

There's a random visit to a strip club - a woman hits on the female reporter. There's no decent banter between Jean Claude and the journo. There's a hacker with blue hair. There's an opening action sequence which is revealed to be a training exercise. Awful dialogue. The villains have great abs and bad acting.

It's dull. And dumb. It feels cheap. Opportunities thrown away wholesale.

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