Movie review - "Baywatch" (2017) **

 All the names on the credits indicate a long development process but at least they landed appropriate stars - Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, neither of whom is shy about taking the old shirt off. It's bright and breezy with some funny lines. Priyanka Chopra and Alexandra Daddario add a dash of glamour.

But full of annoying things too. Like, why not open with the TV credit theme song, one of the greatest of all time? Why make it R rated and have a bunch of swearing? To be edgy? It's Baywatch.

Kelly Rohrbach, Ilfenesh Hadera and Jon Bass don't quite  work. In the girls' defence they don't have any real role to play. There's no distinguished characteristics.

There's some cute teasing of Baywatch being cops. But overall it felt like this was an attempt at a Lord/Miller film which didn't make it. The basic story was fine I think it was more the characterisations - no one had anything to play except Efron and Bass.

Movie review - "Jungle Cruise" (2021) ***

 Pleasant enough family adventure based on the family ride with some attractive movie stars and production values and a plot cribbed from Pirate of the Caribbean. Emily Blunt and Dwayne Johnson don't really have characters to play - I think the model was The African Queen but the character edges have been so shaded down, she's just feisty and he makes bad jokes, nd they don't seem into each other at all, but it's cheerful and bubbles along.

Movie review - "Red Notice" (2021) *** (warning: spoilers)

 Old fashioned big loud dumb action-adventure movie with stars. Ryan Reynolds pushes it home. Dwayne Johnson is bored, Gal Gadot looks beautiful and is having fun as a villain. I wish Gadot and Johnson had swapped roles to have some romancing instead of the homoerotic Dwayne Johnson stuff he seems to specialise in.

The film leaps to life right at the end when it's revealed Johnson and Gadot are in cahoots - the three leads really start interacting instead of it being a buddy movie with Gadot occasionally interrupting. The ending was fun.

Movie review - "Fast and the Furious 6" (2011) *** (warning: spoilers)

 Not as good as the 5th...  But some wonderful moments like a fight with a tank. Vin Diesel has a fake girlfriend Elsa Pataky who seems very understanding when he drops her like a tonne of bricks to chase after Michelle Rodriguez who has hooked up with Luke Evans. Jordana Brewster's kidnapping seems like an afterthought as does Gal Gadot's death... I think that should've happened earlier. Dwayne Johnson's character gave up his principles very easily! Gina Carano could've done more.

Terrific teaser epilogue.

Movie review - "Fast Five" (2011) ***1/2

 This is more like it. Looks fantastic with Brazil settings (shot in Puerto Rico, apparently). Terrific action. Strong emotion because Paul Walker is now on the run with Jordana Brewter and trying to get along with Vin Disel. 

Dwayne Johnson gives the series a jolt of energy as a Tommy Lee Jones style Fugitive hunter. Jordana Brewster's character is pregnant so she has more stakes. It's fun.

Movie review - "Furious 7" (2015) ***1/2

 The one where Paul Walker died.

Big, loud, fun cartoon which goes there - cars jump out of planes and jump from skyscraper to skyscraper. It's like a movie brainstormed by 12 year old boys with some butts thrown in to appeal to 14 year old elder brothers. Those things are harder to do than they look though - in particular there are so many characters to service.

Paul Walker kind of gets overlooked... that may have been because of his death but Vin Diesel pulls focus, as do Michelle Rodriguez (amnesiac drama), Tyrese Gibson (comic relief I), and Ludicrous (comic relief II).

There's pleasing acknowledgement of the series continuity with appearances by Lucas Black (the forgotten lead of the third film, who gets one scene), Jordana Brewster.

People like Rhonda Rousey and Djimon Hounsou pop up and Kurt Russell has a decent sized role. And there's Nathalie Emmanuele and Elsa Pataky... oh and Dwayne Johnson has a small part and Jason Statham is a villain. Oh and there's an Iggy Azalea cmaeo.

 Something for everyone, really.

Sometimes the action is too cartoony to be effective... a scene with Paul Walker on a bus hanging off a cliff felt better because it seemed vaguely real.

The death of Paul Walter is very well handled at the end.

Movie review - "The Mummy Returns" (2001) ***

 Silly, fun, colourful, over the top, tongue in cheek. Rachel Weisz doesn't get credit for what she brought to these movies - as well as the loveliness factor she grounds them in reality. John Hannah's part is trimmed but that's a good thing.

It was a bright idea to skip forward a few years so they had a kid who could be the stakes. Solid action.

Movie review - "Hobbs and Shaw" (2019) **1/2

Big, loud and silly, but with two likeable stars, several enjoyable cameos that you wish were longer (Kevin Hart, Ryan Reynolds, Helen Mirren), an exciting new star (Vanessa Kirby), a decent villain (Idris Elba) and some excellent action scenes.

It's never as fun as I wanted it to be - they waste Kirby in particular, she's an excellent actor, but she has no character to play. Her "romance" with Dwayne Johnson is underwhelming especially as he only has eyes for Jason Statham.

It looks handsome, I love the third act going to Samoa, and there's some memorable OTT moments like Johnson pulling a helicopter with a chain, and a motorbike rider going under a truck. The Honest Trailers on this totally nailed it, by the way - it's like a Marvel movie.

Movie review - "Welcome to the Jungle" (2003) ***

The script for this film is absolutely fine. There's a strong cast and gorgeous locations - jungle has rarely looked as lushly green.

But there's a central, major fault - the casting of Sean William Scott.

I know Scott was a hot ticket at the time, and it isn't as though he's bad he's just pointless. What's his character? What's the type? He's just sort of a young cocky guy - a pseudo Tom Cruise.

If he was playing Stifler from American Pie that would've made sense because that would've been funny. But it's as though Scott didn't want to do that... but didn't replace it with anything else. Because Dwayne Johnson is in it Scott can't even be that heroic - Johnson gets dibs.

I kept wishing it was a buddy comedy with another buddy. Jack Black, say. Or a girl, so that there would be some sexual tension. Rosario Dawson is a revolutionary - but there's no reason you couldn't have two.

The action scenes are done with energy, it's an engaging film, Johnson has charisma and there's a cute cameo from Arnie.

Movie review - "Rampage" (2018) ***1/2

Fun, silly, entertaining film about a rampaging gorilla. Gets off to a good start with a woman dying in outer space, giving it stakes, setting up a serious subtext. The action is fast, it's logical enough.

Malin Ackerman occasionally goes overboard and Jeffrey Dean Morgan's accent got on my nerves. The film also sets up these friends of Johnson's - a work colleague and some students - that we expect to see again but they disappear. Jake Lacy is fun as Ackerman's brother.

Movie review - "San Andreas" (2015) **

Big disaster film which has some of the pleasures of films from that era, and a typically confident performance from Dwayne Johnson. The special effects are impressive - there's some really good destruction.

But the basic story isn't great. Dwayne is a rescue pilot - yet when San Francisco is getting wasted and he's flying around in a helicopter not rescuing anyone except his wife and they go looking for their daughter. Who's not in that much danger - well, not compared to everyone else. You know, people who died.

Most of the action time is Dwyane and ex Carla Guigno running around trying to find their daughter who is with two guys (a SNAG and his brother). Paul Giamatti hangs around in his office a lot.

There's a bunch of Aussies in minor roles like Dennis Coard and Kylie Minogue!

Movie review - "Central Intelligence" (2016) ***

The spirit of 1980s buddy comedies lives on in the films of Kevin Hart and Dwayne Johnson so it's entirely appropriate they're teamed in this high concept flick. Dwayne was a nerd, Kevin the cool kid at high school... then years on Kevin becomes a nerd and Dwayne is a super spy.

It's a film that takes its time to tell the story (not a criticism),  and relies on the chemistry of its stars which is considerable. I missed a love subplot though guess it was different to make it a comedy of remarriage. When Melissa McCarthy popped up I did want her involved in the whole thing. I liked Jason Bateman's turn as a bully. Amy Ryan felt undercast.

Movie review - "Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle" (2017) ****

Really good fun. A bright, energetic movie that creaks in spots but has a good message and an incredibly strong central concept - four kids get sucked into a game and turn up as avatars. Everyone is in extremely good form - the kids were fine rather than sensational but they did what they had to do and the adults are sensational. Some of the Jack Black stuff - getting an erection, flirting with Nick Jonas - pushes that PG rating but in a good way. Action scenes are well handled and it looks terrific.

Movie review – “The Other Guys” (2010) ***

Many hilarious moments in this: the deaths of Sam Jackson and the Rock, the TLC running gag (even if to be honest I only recognised some of the lyrics), Will Ferrel listening to Little River Band all the time, Will Ferrell’s history as a pimp. And there’s a strong satirical point – the end credits sticks it to the irresponsibility that contributed to the GFC. But for some reason this doesn’t work. The best bits feel like add-ons rather than stemming from the actual story; it seems to lack heart, or purpose or something. Maybe I’m just not a fan of the buddy cop genre, or maybe it’s something else – I’m not sure. I laughed out loud, the cast is outstanding (though Michael Keaton doesn’t really suit his role – needed someone crustier)… but it dragged.