Joan Colins Top Ten

 Watched The Stud the other day so thought I’d do a Joan Collins top ten - films only! No TV
1) Revenge (1971)- Really good vigilante film about a family who’ve lost a daughter to murder. The person accused of it is let off and they kidnap him but... did he do it? Collins is good as always.
2) The Girl on the Red Velvet Swing (1956) -20th  Century Fox had Collins under contract as their version of Elizabeth Taylor. This was devised as a vehicle for Marilyn Monroe who wouldn’t do it so they put in Collins - a very good real life murder story and Collins is excellent. Probably her best movie at Fox (though Island in the Sun is entertaining I picked this over that one because she gets a lead.)
3) The Square Ring (1953) - Based on an all-male play about one night in a boxing stadium by Aussie Ralph Peterson - this added some female characters including Joan Collins. Her part isn’t good but she suited low rent criminal tales and the film is entertaining. (She had a similar small role in The Good Die Young)
4) Cosh Boy (1953) - Entertaining Lewis Gilbert melodrama about a juvenile delinquent with Collins lovely as his naive girlfriend.
5) Turn the Key Softly (1954) - A British crime film with female protagonists! This is a three-girl movie about women getting out of prison, an excellent idea, and Collins is very good as an ex call girl
6) Tales from the Crypt (1972) - Gloriously fun anthology horror movie from Amicus - I wish they’d still make them - with Collins having a high old time.
7) Up in the Cellar (1971) - Kind of a sequel to Three in the Attic (1968) directed by Ted Flicker who made The President’s Analyst. Collins and Larry Hagman are very funny, easily stealing the movie from the random lead.

8) The Stud (19798) - Terrific exploitation. Trashy melodrama story which says something about the class system giving it some depth, terrific disco soundtrack (10CC, Hot Chocolate), great casting, lots of sex. Reminded me of 70s Oz films like Petersen - director Quentin Masters was Australian. Joan Collins shows off her body a lot and has lots of sex. Oliver Tobias is handsome and can act- why didn’t he become a bigger name?  Lots of fun.
9) Empire of the Ants (1977) - You can’t call this a good movie but it’s impossible to dislike - Joan Collins as an evil property developer fighting Giant ants and their human allies (no kidding). Where’s the TV series based on this, come on, I’m not kidding.
10) The Big Sleep (1978) - Why did Joan Collins become a star in the 1980s? Because during the 1970s she was consistently the best thing about her not very good movies. Alfie Darling was one. This is another.