HandMade Films Best to Worst

(of the ones I have seen - so not the Missionary, Song of Freedom, Taboo, Venom, The Burning) 

Classics 

Life of Brian (1979)

The Time Bandits (1981)

The Long Good Friday (1980)

Withnail and I (1987)

Solid Comedies 

A Private Function (1984) 

Water (1985) 

Five Corners (1987) 

Nuns on the Run (1990)

Bullshot (1983) 

Solid Dramas 

The Lonely  Passion of Judith Hearne (1989)

Mona Lisa (1986) 

Five Corners (1987) 

Brave tries 

The Raggedy Rawney (1988)

How to Succeed in Advertising (1989)

Track 29 (1989)

Scrubbers (1982) 

Powow Highway (1989) 

Comedy misfires

Privates on Parade (1982)  

Drama misfires

Bellman and True (1982)  

 Fiascos

 Shanghai Surprise (1986)

Checking Out (1989) 

Cold Dog Soup (1990) 

Movie review - "Monty Python's Life of Brian" (1979) *****

 Magnificent movie. It looks incredible - that production design, those costumes. It's hilarious. There's a devastating point - the satire on people who blindly fellow religion. No wonder people got upset- it's targeted at them. But they can't say that so they say it's blashemous. The ending is incredibly moving and powerful.

Movie review - "The Long Good Friday" (1980) *****

 Great, tough British gangster film which is based on solid concept - a gangster going legit finds himself threatened by the IRA. Its ace in the hole is Bob Hoskins - working class, tough, ,warm, funny, sympathetic. 

He's got solid support from Helen Mirren (an uptown girl slumming it), Bryan Marshall, Eddie Constantine, a young Pierce Brosnan, and others. 

One of Hoskins' gangsters is gay - there were a few of these in British cinema of the time eg Villain. 

Terrific music. Just really well done. 

Movie review - "Time Bandits" (1981) *****

 I didn't like this much as a child because I wanted it to be a Monty Python film when it's an adventure movie. Watching it years later it's just a wonderful piece of work, Terry Gilliam at his peak, beautifully complemented by Michael Palin. The lead kid is fine, the little people are terrific, the cameos splendid - Shelley Duvall is as good as Palin and Cleese - Sean Connery gives it heart. The second half felt more Gilliam than Palin - he's in his element. The imagination is lovely - the boat on the top of the giant's head, the swinging rope in the dark. Dave Warner a lot of fun, so too Ralph Richardson.

It's a terrific film. Has aged incredibly well.

Movie review - "Castaway" (1986) **1/2

 Intriguing - Oliver Reed puts ad in paper for woman to live on island with him for a year. They have sex before even going out there and the relationship is explored. 

It's patchy, erratic, always watchable. Amanda Donahue isn't as naked on screen as often as I'd been led to believe. She's excellent. Great to see Reed in a decent role for a change. 

The island is located near Australia and there are some Aussie characters in it. 

Movie review - "Nuns on the Run" (1990) ***

 The last film, I think, from HandMade Films, at least its George Harrison-Denis O'Brien iteration, saw the company go out on a hit - and it was the type of movie the company probably should have made through the late 80s instead of all those quirky American pieces: a solid comedy with a former Monty Python. Eric Idle is the guy here, though the prime creative mover was Jonathan Lynn who wrote and directed it. 

Idle teams well with Robbie Coltrane and the jokes are obvious but funny. There's various plot machinations, a really sweet romance for Idle, Janet Suzman impresses as mother superior (but feels as though she needs a big scene or something the way Maggie Smith got in Sister Act  - that film felt as though it learned from this one). The pacing is occasionally off and some scenes feel re-shot. But it wants to entertain, the music is great, it's unpretentious. 

Movie review - "Cold Dog Soup" (1990) *

 One of the films that killed HandMade it's a little like After Hours though based on a novel published 1985. Frank Whaley wants to sleep with Christine Hamos so agrees to bury her mother's dog and winds up having a series of adventures mostly involving wacky cab driver Randy Quaid. A culty type movie it doesn't quite click - the adventures don't make sense, Whaley is fine, Hamos is mysterious and enigmatic and comes along for the ride in the second half but doesn't bring much to the party, Quaid is large as you expect him to be.

This was developed for Sam Kinison who would've been better.

There's a voodoo ceremony at the end which splashes the cash. Why did they make this? Why so much quirk? 

Nice to see some old vets like Sheree North, Seymour Cassell and Nancy Kwan turn up. But this film was annoying.  

Movie review - "Lisa" (1962) ** aka "The Inspector"

 A story of promise - a Dutch police officer helps a Jewish woman into Palestine, despite thinking she could be guilty of murder of a Nazi. Very strong support cast - Donald Pleasance, Leo McKern, Marius Goring - and B list stars: Stephen Boyd and Dolores Hart. They are pretty and try but aren't proper stars of say a Gregory Peck and Natalie Wood.

Tired. Hopping off and on barges. No stakes. Like the Nazi is killed. He deserved to die. Accidental edath. Who cares if she gets to Palestine or if they get caught or the couple can't make it?

The film doesn't work. 

Hart has some nice moments. But I don't thinkshe was a real star. Boyd wasn't. 

Movie review - "The Raggedy Rawney" (1988) **1/2

 Handmade Films enjoyed success with two Bob Hoskins vehicles, The Long Good Friday and Mona Lisa so when he came to them seeking finance for his directorial debut they ponied up the cash. It's not exactly high concept - in an unnamed European country a soldier (Dexter Fletcher) deserts, is traumatised by war, puts on a dress and is a mute who accompanies some Romani.

The cast includes Hoskins and many of his mates like Zoe Wanamaker, Ian McNiece, and Jim Carter. Ian Drury is also in it.  Fletcher looks like Mick Jagger. Shags a nubile blonde. The Romani fight off soldiers.

The film is a brave try. I like the ambition. Some moving moments. Open ending. Wasn't for me but no disgrace. 

TV review - "Alfred Hitchcock Presents - Silent Witness" (1957) **1/2

 Best seen for Dolores Hart's performance as a sexually aggressive student sleeping with married lecturer Don Taylor (Pat Hitchcock is his wife). He strangles her, a baby watches, the baby is kind of like the Tell Tale Heart. But really they can't think of a third act. Maybe the cops shoud've suspected and used it to trap him. 

Movie review - "Francis of Assisi" (1961) **

 The Francis story has a solid arc - playboy turned into Friar - but this is dull. Initial scenes feel like toy town medieval land. The transformation to true believer isn't effectively dramatised, just a lot of staring.

These films are hard to do. You need to put in action and passion and have relationships full of conflict. I didn't mind making Sister Clare in love with Francis but they pull their punches. The friendship between Francis and the warrior has potential again but is poorly done. Francis' dad isn't used as an antagonist enough. The budget was decent but not spectacle level.

Bradford Dillman tries but isn't a star - neither is Dolores Hart or Stuart Whitman. Hart was very effective, beautiful, cutting her hair off. THe film might've been better being about her and her sisters.

The film flopped as did Fox's other Biblical epic The Story of Ruth. 

Movie review - "Room with a View" (1985) *****

 Merchant-Ivory had been plugging away since the 1960s before everything clicked for them with this movie. It simply works from the opening of Dame Kiri singing Puccini - glorious song always loved it - then cutting to the new discovery beauty of Helena Bonham Carter and the exquisite comic timing of Maggie Smith, followed up by the dash of Julian Sands and the genius of Denholm Elliot. Rupert Everett auditioned for Sands' role and while Sands isn't amazing it was the right choice - I think Everett would've sent it up slightly.

Carter and Sands weren't the best actors then but they have the perfect look. Rupert Friend also stole the show as Freddy. Daniel Day Lewis is next level with his performance.

The oldies give it heart though - Maggie Smith's uptight nature, lying in bed alone at the end, Denholm Elliot's decency and awkwardness. Full of warmth like Sands giving his dad a kiss.

Very homoerotic gaze with its nude men running around and men wrestling and subtext about the importance of being rogered by young bucks in Italy.

The whole movie does work.  

 

Movie review - "Another Country" (1984) ****

 Well made British film has a great subject - Guy Burgess at school - and does it well. The other main character is his commie mate played by Colin Firth though he actually doesn't get much screen time - he starts as a commie ends as a commie (Ken Branah played this role on stage). The story is about the politicisation of Burgess. Some critics from the time whined that it didn't show his politicisation - but it shows very clearly his disenchantment with the estabishment, at first he disdains it cheerfully then comes to loathe it when he's booted from making head prefect. 

Cary Elwes is Bennett's love object, Bennett is played excellently by Rupert Everett in a star making portrayal. The make up at the beginning and end is a litte off putting - and would an American journalist be allowed to interview a spy?

But a very good movie. 

Movie review - "Track 29" (1988) **1/2

 Nic Roeg films are always worth watching and this is a case in point. I don't feel it quite works - the American setting perhaps, maybe he would've been more at home in Britain, or writer Dennis Potter. Theresa Russell is okay as the woman visited by son Gary Oldman, who goes all out - who may be a hallucination. There's incest and hammy antics from Oldman and the movie is about Russell's PTSD from rape.

The film doesn't die wondering that's for sure. Chris Lloyd is Russell's wife, Sarah Bernhardt is his lover.

Gosh, Handmade backed some odd ones in the late 80s.

Movie review - "The Kissing Booth" (2018) ***

 Much mocked but done with great energy and life and it has an X factor of Joey King and especially Jacob Elordi.

It was shot in South Africa and does feel like it.  A decent movie that expertly ticks its boxes even if Jacob plays a walking red flag.

Movie review - "Dance with a Stranger" (1985) ***1/2

 A model for how to make a sensibly budgeted British film: pre existing IP, really good theatre writer doing the script, TV director behind the camera, two new stars (Miranda Richardson, Rupert Everett) and an established name (Ian Holm), some sex and violence.

Done with taste and skill and Richardson is spectacular. Holm also excellent. Everett is fine. I preferred the Diana Dors version of this story - this is a little too restrained - but it's well done. 

Movie review - "The Mission" (1986) ***1/2 (warning: spoilers)

 Smart. Literate. Gorgeous to look at. Top cast. Magnificent locations. Divine score. 

Doesn't quite work. Jeremy Irons and Robert de Niro look too much alike. The original idea, for the priest to be an older actor, should have been persisted with. Irons is fine by the way. But he doesn't feel like a real person. Just a good priest.

Ray McNally feels real. So too does Robert de Niro. Liam Neeson. The other slave guy.

The depiction of the locals is unforgiveable. They are childlike simpletons. 

It's a shame because the film has such a great driver - slaver tries to redeem himself, returns to violence, defends native people against colonisers. That's Avatar. But in Avatar the local culture had a voice. It was personified.

If there had been a proper Indian character who had a relationship with the men - a firebrand and a peacelover, both women, say - this would have really resonated. The movie needed some women in it (there's one briefly, she's in love with de Niro's brother Aidan Quinn, but that's it). Also they could have ended the film on some hope. Having de Niro and Irons die felt really men. Maybe it would've been okay if some dimentional Indian character survived.

So much great stuff but they didn't nail the story. 

Movie review - "Five Corners" (1987) ***

 The first American movie from HandMade Films, in hindsight a mistake, though the company kept producing British pictures, and all its American films were something different.

This launched a bunch of names - John Patrick Shanley, John Tururro, Tim Robbins - and was part of the re-awakening of Jodie Foster. 

I remember reading the script ages ago - it was published - and being intrigued by its characters, the combination of nostalgia and violence, the unsettling story of a man out of prison seeking revenge for someone he's obsessed with (Foster), the killing of the penguins. Something Wild is maybe a little close to it though that had more sex.

That script was more vivid to read than the final film was to watch, although the film is faithful. Maybe it needed a better director. Mind you I doubt any other director would have made it. 

The ending felt satisfying. This was odd. It worked. 

Movie review - "Powwow Highway" (1988) **1/2

 One of HandMade's random American films this at least gets points for being about Native Americans. The director was a white South African but the cast is Indian and it's very respectful, or as least seems to be. There's plenty of Indian actors in the cast such as Wes Studi and Graham Greene.

The film is a buddy comedy between activist A Martinez and more laid back Graham Farmer who go on a road trip in part of help Martinez's sister who's been arrested. 

It's fine. Lot of warmth. Some good actors. I ddn't vibe with it - not my sort of movie. 

Movie review - "633 Squadron" (1964) ***

 Plane buffs love this movie. Solid guys on a mission flick the mission being to blow up something in Norway. Not well directed and the casting of the leads seems off - Cliff Robertson as an American, George Chakiris as a Norwegian.

But the support cast are fine - including John Meillion as an Aussie. It gets points for wiping out most of the squadron. Final attack influential on Star Wars. 

Script review - "Somewhere" by Sofia Coppola

 Only 44 pages A series of scenes of a movie star being empty - having sex, taking drugs, feeling not quite real. He's nice to his daughter. You can imagine Coppola directing it well. Not enough for a feature though. 

Movie review - "Checking Out" (1989) *1/2

 Joe Eszterhas could write one type of movie really well - the erotic thriller - though he tried his hand at other kinds, including comedy. He did a few comedies actually, and they were rarely funny (though his books can be witty).

It's a black comedy about Jedd Daniels in Jack Lemmon mode becoming obsessed with health after his racist best friend dies while telling a joke. British HandMade Films responded to it as did director David Leland. 

Leland changed some of Eszterhas' stuff - Eszterhas says he changed it back.

A film like this needed carefully handing in script and directing and playing. It goesn't get it. Jeff Daniels is fine it's not his fault. I think David Leland maybe struggled being out of England, not being across the acting scene as much, knowing the intricacies of the culture. There's a bit of over acting going on.

Fun to see cameos from David Byrne and George Harrison.  I liked hearing the Traveling Wilbury's over the beginning and end credits.

I hated the lead for being best friends with a racist. And for Melanie Myron for having nothing to play. Maybe it would've worked more with Bob Hoskins in the lead-  Jeff Daniels is fine, Hoskins just was more affable.

Gosh, HandMade took risks though. 

Movie review - "How to Get Ahead in Advertising" (1989) **

 Bruce Robinson's sequel to Withnail and I has a decent swing. It feels like a young man's movie, some angry ranting, and Richard E Grant commits. It might play better on stage off the energy of the acting.

Rachel Ward is pretty but awkward in a nothing part. 

Robinson doesn't have many ideas other than his initial one. There's a lot of ranting but little of the personal knowledge he brought for Withnail. It doesn't have the character relationships - Robinson's earlier film had Withnail and I, and also the duo and their drug dealer and Uncle Monty. This has the undercooked stuff with the wife, and a better one with the boss.

Brave try.  

Movie review - "The Lonely Passion of Judith Hearne" (1987) ***1/2

 The sort of movie you know going in what it's going to be like - tastefully made, with brilliant acting, hosannahs for Maggie Smith in the lead, nice production values, depressing.

People tried to make this for three decades, notably John Huston - the title role is a gift for an older actress. But it is depressing. She's got no money, no family, loses a job, realises she's wasted her life, hits the bottle, falls in love with a bounder (Bob Hoskins) who only wants her money.

It's nicely made. 

Movie review - "Kangaroo Island" (2025) ***

 Really sweet, well made drama about a hot mess actress (Rebecca Breeds) coming home to Kangaroo Island, dealing with her dad (Eric Thompson) born again sister (Adelaide Clemens) who is married to her ex (Joel Judge).

A flew clunky moments - a car crash happens, prompts a monologue then is over - and it doesn't quite pull all the narrative strands together, but it looks great, it's made with a lot of heart, nice acting.

Script review - "Is this Thing On?" by Bradley Cooper, Will Arnett, and Mark Chappell

 Charming, senstive, actor-y. I like how the wife is given a voice and it becomes a comedy of remarriage. It wobbles a bit in places when some more pace might've helped. Great performer's showcase.

Movie - "Set It Up" (2018) ***1/2

 First rate romantic comedy which benefits from sparkling dialogue, a strong structure, and excellent lead performances from Glen Powell and especially Zoe Deutsch. Lots of fun, very slick. 

Movie review - "Spring Break" (1983) **

 Male version of Where the Boys Are from Sean Cunningham, hot off Friday the 13th. Two "nerds" (who look like Karate Kid villains) go to spring break and befriend two cool kids at a dive motel which is at risk of being taken over.

There's lots of scenes of hanging out - going to bars, going to the beach. A little bit of romance. I found it hard to tell the characters apart - one of them had a rich dad. Not that much nudity actually.  High spirits. More engaging than I thought it would be as it's about discovering friendship and romance.

Movie review - "Bellman and True" (1988) **

 HandMade films had a success taking a film intended for TV and releasing it theatrically with The Long Good Friday. They tried it again with Song of Freedom and this one, neither succeeded.

This isn't a bad story - a computer expert is forced to assist in a crime  after his step son is kidnapped.

But it's just shot like a British TV drama with all that TV drama acting, and musical stings, and TV cutting. Which is fine on TV but not for a movie.

Bernard Hill is a decent actor but he's taciturn, tight - there's no warmth. The lead needed a star. Bob Hoskins would have made all the difference.

The characters of the criminals are interesting because they are more three dimensional than usual. More interesting than the lead. It picks up in the second half when the heist kicks in.

But the core relationship between the lead duo - the guy and the kid - is flat. 

Movie review - "Scary Movie" (2000) **1/2

 Tasteless in many places but I laughed. Benefits from being based on Kevin Williamspn's strong Scream sccript.

Movie review - "Criminal Court'" (1946) **1/2

 Unpretentious B from RKO with Tom Conway as an ace lawyer whose singer finance Martha O'Driscoll is accused of murder of dodgy Robert Armstrong. Conway accidentally kind of caused the death fighting over a gun - but he's a goodie here.

Decent direction and production values. Story from Earl Felton.

Plot has similarities to Conway's A Night of Adventure. 

Movie review - "Mona Lisa" (1986) ***

 Very simple effective story. Bob Hoskins is wonderfully cast. Sean Connery, the original choice, would have totally changed it.  Ambles a bit in the middle. It was fine, not magical Maybe the queer twist carried more weight in 1986. It's good mind. 

Movie review - "People we meet on Vacation" (2026) **

 Disappointing. Really good idea - When Harry Met Sally only vacation - has some pretty pictures andlocation work, but sinks on the lack of chemistry between stars Tom Blyth and Emily Bader. They struggle to convey why they are friends, what they see in each other, any sort of attraction. It just doesn't work.

Gwyneth Paltrow Top Ten

 1) Shakespeare in Love (1998) - still a good movie

2) Seven (1995) - very sweet in a movie that needed sweetness

3) The Royal Tenenbaums (2001) - really solid

4) Sliding Doors (1998) - a film about a girl who gets a haircut but very good 

5) Bounce (2000) - a forgotten film but she's very good

6) Glee (2010-11) - her stint on this was funny

7)  The Talented Mr Ripley (1999) - peak decent Miramax

8) Emma (1998) - not as good as Alicia Silvertone but likeable

9) Iron Man (2008) - not much of a role but one of these films should be on this list

10) Shallow Hal (2001) - I liked her in this, honest! 

Play review - "Natural Affection" by William Inge (1963)

 Inge's second flop, following on from A Loss of Roses. It's about a troubled teen who stays with his monther and her lover. She's a dreamer who can't resist dick, the boy is senstive, all that stuff.

It's a jolt to read Inge in a city (Chicago). Audiences reacted poorly in part because of that but also the sex and violence - the kid turns into a murderer at the end of a random woman. The work compels interest but you are aware it would need careful direction. 

Book review - "How to Survive a Killer Musical: Agony and Ecstasy on the Road to Broadway" by Douglas J. Cohen

 The story of writing and producing a musical based on William Goldman's No Way to Treat a Lady 0 I was unaware this existed, as in the musical, although I'm a Goldman fan. It has had several productions around the world and made some coin.

The book is kind of interesting - no big epic dramas, not really, a lot of trudge and hard work, some personality clashes. Cohen's always pushing sh*t uphill basically. The work is always being tinkered with.

Goldman plays a decent part in the book - he asks for a big fat cut of the money, though he does ease off later on to help out. And he makes a creative contribution. People like Sondheim and Frank Rich offer thoughts. 

A welcome addition to Broadway books because it does feel more realistic. It's mostly about a lot of hard work and medium success rather than a huge flop or a huge bomb. 

Book review - "The Man with the Getaway Face" by Richard Stark (1963)

 The second Parker has him get plastic surgery, then go off to commit one of his heists but the second half turns into a saga about who killed his plastic surgeon. Interesting concepts of honour. The loyal chauffeur is an interesting character too.

TV review - "Stranger Things - Season 5" (2025) ***

 As good a job as you could expect considering all the balls they had to juggle and characters to service. Some of the acting is variable but the weaker ones are protected well and there's some stand out youngsters like Maya Hawke. Impressive effects. Lotsa money. Bad haircuts. Be interesting to see which of the cast will kick on and who won't.

Movie review - "The Best of Friends" (1981)

 Famous Aussie flop though the set up is excellent: two best friends of 20 years hook up one night and she gets pregnant and it changes things.

The script was highly regarded but has flaws. It needed to spend more time setting up the friendship of the two - like When Harry Met Sally began with the two friends meeting. A little montage or some set up scenes would've worked wonders. Establish their ground rules, set up how it works, etc As it is they root 15 minutes in which is too early.

Graeme Blundell is ideally cast as they guy but Angela Punch McGregor  is hideously miscast in a role that needed Jackie Weaver or anyone skilled with comedy - Pamela Stephenson, Kate Fitzpatrick, Robyn Nevin. 

Another problem is the second half of the film dispenses with the central concept - can friends make it as a couple - and becomes about the difficulty of a woman dating a Catholic.

Movie review - "Hemingway's Adventures of a Young Man" (1962) **

 Adapting the Nick Adams stories wasn't a great idea - they are by nature episodic - though maybe it could've worked more as a "coming of age of Ernest Hemingway" type tale

Richard Beymer is hopelessly out of his element here - not dreadful just not capable. The role needed a really, really good actor - not just an actor, a star. Not sure who could've done it then. Paul Newman maybe even if he was too old.

But the script isn't great. Ten stories! Goes for over two hours!

Martin Ritt gives scenes in the vignettes to the guest stars - Paul Newman as a punch drunk boxer, Arthur Kennedy as dad, Dan Dailey as a drunk editor, Eli Wallach as a soldier. Most of them are not good. A lot of over acting.

Maybe could have worked if it had just focused on young Nick in the woods. Or Nick as a journalist. Or him having a romance in Italy. Together it felt lumpy. 

Script review - "Splendor in the Grass" (1961) by William Inge

 Very simple. Effective. Empathetic to kids. Two of them want to shag, she's poor, he's rich. He dumps her to get a root she goes mad. Her mother worries about her virginity but um that doesn't drive you mad. To be fair the film doesn't say that. The depression equals them all.

Inge was a good script writer. He should've written the adaptation of A Loss of Roses. But... casting essentia. That and this needed two leads who are perfect. 

Script review - "Blue Moon" by Robert Kaplow

 It’s not very good. As in, it’s bad. Feels like a play. Too much like a play. No use of visuals, Nothing at stake. The girl isn’t stakes because he’s not going to be with the girl. The partnership with Rodgers not really at stake bc he’s going to die. Why not use his mother as a character more? Ducks Hart's homosexuality. Makes it more about his drinking and height. I liked seeing Sondheim and George Roy Hill but both could’ve been cut from the film.

Movie review - "The Stripper" (1963) **

 William Inge's play wasn't perfect but could have made a decent film in the right hands. On paper this had the appropriate team - Jerry Wald, Franklin Schaffner - but it makes many key mistakes.

- Setting it in present day sees loss of a great deal of atmosphere. This needed some sort of location work.

- Miscast stars. Joanne Woodward too smart Not sexy enough. Sorry but she's not. Too classy. Needed low brow and sexy like Kim Novak or intended star Marilyn Monroe or Ava Gardner. Smeone wh'd been arond block.

- Richard Beymer not up to it. Poor Richard Beymer. He tries. He just can't do it. There's no sexual charge. Pat Boone, asked to play the role, would have at least brought clean cut vibes. Having said that Beymer doens't wreck it as much as Woodward.

- A lot of it is just dumb. Dumb dialogue. Best bits are when it follows the play.

 

Script review - "Hamnet" by Chloe Zhang

 Wasn't sure what to expect. Very well done. View of the romance from Agnes (Anne's) point of view. Will is young, hot, moody but three dimensional. Agnes has got her stuff going on. Skips forward to the kids being grown up; Hamnet dies. Will writes Hamlet they use it go get through grief. Moving, evocative on the page.

Play review - "A Loss of Roses" (1960) by William Inge

 Read this because Warren Beatty debuted. It's a simple story - maybe too simple for a play though it would work for a film. An older actress moves in with a woman and her son, who is a young man. The mother apparently is a bit hot for the sun though that's not clear. The woman is a stock type written by gay male playwrights of this era - ageing beauty who's been around the block, emotionally unstable. The son roots her, then won't marry her so she tries to kill herself - this is all rushed through.

It would work as a star vehicle for the young man and the actress. The mother part doesn't quite click. This version I read is different from what was on Broadway. 

Movie review - "Privates on Parade" (1982) ** (warning: spoilers)

 You can tell it would've been fun on stage, with the energy of the dance numbers. Dennis Quilley is funny as is John Cleese. It doesn't work. A few reasons.

- the plot of the sergeant selling arms to the locals, faking his death and coming back for the final raid just seems dumb - maybe it happened, but it doesn't feel real. Why fake his dead? Why take part in the final raid? Why kill one of the men? A communist could've done it. Doesn't feel real.

- They don't use the character of the newbie enough. Should be through his eyes. He joins up, meets wacky locals, romances a girl. But then kind of disappears from the film. He should be the star part.

- No real relationsship progression. Should be the guy falling in love, making friends. Not done.

- I had trouble telling characters apart.

Also for all the film's relatively positive depiction of gay soldiers it treats the locals like exotic fauna.

Denis O'Brien shouldn't have added the silly walks at the end. But the film didn't work before that. His addition just gave the filmmakers someone to blame other than themselves.

Might mean more if you've seen active service from this period. 

Movie review - "Bee Movie" (2007) **

 Some cuteness and enjoyable animation in the bee world. Drops off when it enters the human world and ends with a boring trial. Too much bee-human romance, just feels wrong. Rene Zellweger is very sweet.

Movie review - "Withnail and I" (1987) ****

 I was resistant to this on first viewing - too boorish, too cold, too wet. As the years have gone on I appreciate it more. It's look of youth, the ending with the two men going different ways, the music, the beauty of the photography and locations, the superb work of Richard E. Grant, the understated work of Paul McCann, Richard Griffiths stealing the movie almost, Ralph Brown being very funny, the end of the 1960s.

Ringo Starr gets a credit. 

Movie review - "Take It Or Leave It" (1981) ***

 I'll give it to Madness - they had some hits then decided to blow it on their own film. The movie kind if disappeared, weird for a popular band - I don't think it had enough distribution. That's a common excuse but fans of the film will enjoy this as it tells their story from 1976 to 1979. The script is a series of vignettes all based on reality.

I'm not sure it's for people other than fans - it's hard to tell them apart. I recognised the songs towards the end - some bigger hits up front might've helped.