Radio review – Lux – “The Road to Morocco” (1943) ***1/2

The free-wheeling style of the Road movies adapts brilliantly to radio in this highly enjoyable adaptation. Bing and Bob are here, but not Dorothy Lamour – she’s replaced by someone called Ginny Tims (or something). The two stars play their characters doing a radio broadcast, kidding around with Cecil B de Mille in character. They are bright and engaging; there is some non-PC humour about Arab languages.

Movie review – Road #7 - “The Road to Hong Kong” (1962) ***

You’d think Bing Crosby and Bob Hope would be too old to believably play double-crossing song and dance men, but the two of them pull it off surprisingly well – when you think about it both had a twinkle in their eye all their life. (Hope has aged better than Crosby).

The guts of the plot has Hope trying to recover his memory, and getting involved in a spy plot. The girl is bewilderingly played by Joan Collins, instead of Dorothy Lamour (who does have a cameo – but why not the role? It isn’t as though Collins was a big star in 1962 – maybe the boys just wanted to prove they could do it without Lamour – or they felt she was too old. But when Crosby croons with Collins it seems off and while Collins tries she doesn’t have the zing of Lamour).

You’ve got to give the film some points for getting on the spy spoof so quickly – that didn’t really happen in a big way until 1965 but the Road kids were straight on to it. They even predicted some things that would later become Bond film staples, such as a mysterious wealthy organisation based in an underwater lair, lots of henchmen, and adventures in outer space. This does mean, however, that the film has a different feel to the others – the emphasis is on gadgets and sci-fi rather than the exotic. Put it in colour and replace Bob and Bing with Dean Martin and you have a Matt Helm movie… until it winds up on another planet and just gets silly.

Much of humour comes from guest stars: Peter Sellars is very funny doing his Indian doctor routine (are we allowed to laugh at that again?), ditto Robert Morley as an early template for Dr Evil, and a very funny cameo at the end. There is a throwback to some of the less pleasant aspects of the Road movies in one scene where Hope, pretending to be Chinese, harasses a Chinese restaurant owner (played by a non-Chinese actor).

Movie review – Road #6 - “Road to Bali” (1952) ***

A bonus for Australians: it starts in Melbourne “the last outpost of culture in the Western world” (there is a map of Australia with signs “road to Zanzibar”, “road to Utopia”, etc) where Bing and Bob and doing their two man show. Of course they’re in trouble with the locals – a young lass (played by a starlet with an American accent) and her family, who I think are supposed to be famrers. Bing and Bob make a run for it – one of the farmers throws a boomerang at them, which Bob catches. They then stowaway on a train and get busted; they buy some false Ned Kelly like beards and go to an unemployment office in Darwin where a prince is looking for deep sea divers.

This film is sometimes said not to be as good as the others in the series, but to be honest I couldn’t really ascertain a drop in quality – the banter between the leads (mostly mean, lots of teasing) is still funny, two of Hollywood’s richest and most long-lasting stars revelling in each other’s company (one scene they actually kiss, albeit accidentally). Lamour doesn’t have much of a role, just being a Balinese princess without doing any manipulations herself. I will admit, it does taper off in the last third after the villain as gone and it’s just the three of them hanging around on an island. But it does recover for the end, which features the finale (common in island films) of our heroes being thrown into a volcano – years before Joe vs the Volcano. And the final gag is a cracker.

Movie review – Road #5 - “Road to Rio” (1947) ***

At 100 minutes the longest Road movie and it feels too long. It’s full of bright moments though, as Bob and Bing fling yet another from another creditor and wind up on a boat to Rio. They meet Dorothy Lamour, who is a bit more passive in this film (it was post-war and women were giving up their jobs and going back to housewifery) – she’s being hypnotised by ever reliable Gale Sondegaard so she’ll marry a rogue. Sondegaard leads an imposing collection of villains, Hope’s wisecracks are strong and there are some memorable music numbers (one effective romantic number to the background of a film being projected, another with the Andrews Sisters) but it goes on for too long. It does have one the funniest climax gags – the cowboys who ride to the rescue at the end, don’t make it, but say “wasn’t it exciting”. Also Hope winds up with Lamour - even if he does have to hypnotise her.

Movie review – Road #4 – “Road to Utopia” (1945) ***1/2

The Road movies were always pretty jokey from the beginning, but things went up a notch with Road to Morocco, then the extra mile with this one. It starts with a joking introduction by Robert Bechley, then cuts to an elderly Hope and Lamour living together; they are visited by Bing Crosby, at which points it flashes back to the 1890s, the period so well covered by Mae West.

“Utopia” is gold rush Alaska, where Bing and Bob wind up looking for their fortune. During the course of their adventures they sing songs which refer to their star personas, run into Santa, have a bit part actor from another movie walk through their movie, make gags about the censors, have Robert Benchley occasionally make comments, refer to the music score during a romantic scene, etc etc.

The stars are in delightful form and the gags are very strong; the plot has Bing and Bob be confused for some killers and get involved with shenanigans concerning a map. (Indeed the last portion of the film it gets quite plotty).

Risque ending where Lamour and Hope’s kid is revealed to look just like Crosby.

Movie review –Road #3 – “The Road to Morocco” (1942) ***1/2

The best road movie to date with a pleasing air of unscrupulousness: Bing and Bob are shipwrecked then wind up in Morocco where Bing sells Bob into slavery to make some money, which is pretty full on. Then is turns out he’s been bought by a princess (Dorothy Lamour) to marry, which triggers Bing’s competitive instincts. As in Zanzibar, Lamour is no retiring violet – she wants to marry Hope but only so he will die and she has no intention of sleeping with him. The rivalry between the lead duo is accentuated – when Hope discovers that Lamour’s husband will be killed he tries to get Bing to take his place - the gags are stronger (great one with a camel kissing them, and the fourth wall is often broken), the songs are more charming (the title track is especially delightful). Again Lamour really likes Bing but this time they give Hope a pretty girl to have as compensation. There is an off scene where Hope pretends to have a speech impediment in order to get some food and runs into a shop owner with a speech impediment, and the film does fade away towards the end.

Movie review – Road #2 – “The Road to Zanzibar” (1941) ***

The second Road film is more geared to the talents of the stars – Hope is more cowardly – and also far more polished – it’s a real “road” story, with the duo playing a pair of shonky carnies travelling through Africa. For the first 15 minutes or so it’s a rather sophisticated Africa (Cape Town, Nairobi) then they wind up in the interior where they are conned by a pair of girls (one half of whom is Lamour, very pretty – the other is Una Merkel) and wind up in search of a diamond mine.
The playing between the two leads is superb, a marvellous thing to watch, and is the most enjoyable aspect of the movie. There’s a rather “off” scene where Bing sings while being carried in a chair by black natives but mostly fun is poked at the stereotypes (the boys wind up as Gods for a time but they don’t get away with it for long). There’s a hilarious wrestle between Hope and a gorilla, and a charming song in a lagoon between Cosby and Lamour. Lamour disappears for most of the last 20 minutes or so – the Road films were really boysie movies. Pleasingly, no one ever grows – in the Seinfeld parlance, there was no hugging, no learning.

Movie review – Road #1 - “The Road to Singapore” (1940) **

The first in what became a long running series with Bob Hope and Bing Crosby as two mates who have various adventures usually involving Dorothy Lamour. This one starts with them coming back on a long overseas trip; Bing’s wealthy father (Charles Coburn) wants him to settle down. After a brawl celebrating Bing’s engagement the two of them run off to Singapore where they run into Dorothy Lamour who is dancing with Anthony Quinn. The three of them live in a chaste ménage a trios – there is a bit of schtick (selling stuff at the markets, both dress up in black face, etc), some tunes, a bit of local atmosphere with natives, very little plot.

It gets a bit tiring after a while, especially as the duo just really hang out and stuff happens to them. Both men squabble over Lamour, who says she likes Hope but really likes Bing. The playing style of both men hold up very well – Bing’s cool laidback delivery works wonderfully with Hope’s more nervous wisecracking style. Hope isn’t a coward here – he’s always up for a brawl with Crosby and is implied to be a womaniser; they’re more Gable and Tracy in this one.

NB And before anyone remarks on the irony of a film called The Road to Singapore released not long before the fall of Singapore, Hope and Crosby never actually get to the title city, it’s set on a fictitious island.